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MacPaco
Posted on: 2013/6/1 12:03
Just popping in
Joined: 2013/6/1
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Re: A daily FUNNY
A small zoo in Arkansas obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

Herein, the Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.
Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition:

Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

"First," Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second," he said, "she must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third," he said, "you can't never tell no one about this."
The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Fourth," Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

"And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00."
MacPaco
Posted on: 2013/6/1 12:05
Just popping in
Joined: 2013/6/1
From:
Posts: 0
Re: A daily FUNNY
U.S. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton and former Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks.

Hillary says to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his pecker."

Janet responded. "Just because I am considered plain, doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."

Hillary asks, "Well how do you deal with the problem?"

Janet: "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest, fart I can."

Well, that night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary headed for bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been holding her wind all day, and was ready for him. She tenses up her butt cheeks and forces out the most disgusting, wet, subwoofer-sounding fart you could imagine.

Bill rolls over and says, "Is that you Janet?."
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